Monday, October 31, 2005

Todays show...

Hello, My name is Samuel, and I'm a donkey. I'll be your host today's show where we're going to talk about the NFL, the "donkey" paradox, and .... um ... the teleprompter looks like it's saying "why do men have nipples". Ahem, excuse me for just a moment.


Ok, today we're going to talk about the NFL and the donkey paradox. You'll have to figure out for yourself why men have nipples.


So, the NFL is just a bunch of showboaters who want to get on ESPN. Does every wide receiver have a small johnson? I mean, c'mon. Can they not score a touchdown without doing some lame celebration in the endzone?

I was sent this excerpt from "The Sports Guy" (column).

brought up the topic, "What touchdown dance would cause the biggest possible fine?"
You would think it would be Adam Carolla's idea for the "Touchdown Poop," which I described two years ago -- basically, the guy scores a touchdown, then squats like he's on the bowl, stays there for a couple of seconds, turns the pages of an imaginary newspaper and finally "pushes" the ball between his legs. We figured that if Randy Moss did that, he would get suspended for a game and fined like $150,000. Plus, Joe Buck might start crying on the air.

But I think this one would be worse: "The Delivery." What if Moss scored a TD and immediately fell to the ground on his back, with his legs up in the air like a pregnant woman, and two receivers stood on either side "cheering him on," and Randy pretended he was pushing, and finally the QB leaned over him and "pulled" the football from Randy's loins, then held the football to his shoulder like a baby for a few seconds before Moss stood up, gingerly grabbed the "baby," cut an imaginary umbilical cord, then spiked the ball as hard as he possibly could? I think that would be like a three-game suspension and a $500,000 fine, right? Plus, Buck would be more distraught than Walter Cronkite after JFK's assassination. Let's hope and pray that Randy reads

While the above would be hysterical, it would spawn even more lame-ass attempts to "one up" the next celebration.

I'm more of a college football fan anyway, but this just solidifies my disdain for the NFL.


So, I'm a donkey....and I hate it. Over the last 3 hours of online play I've managed to make way too many calls in some rather lame pots online.

It just pisses me off how I can play so solid for a full hour, and in a matter of 30 seconds, be looking at the felt.

I've had AK at least 20 times in that time span, and have yet to hit a flop. I've lost on at least 80% of those hands.

To top off my donkey play, I've been rivered for the tune of $40, and that just makes life worse. So I'm not on tilt, and have actually laughed off all the cash I've blown through.

Just needed to let you all know that I'm a donkey today.

No hand histories for you all to laugh and point your finger at me.... You can do that anyway, and get the same result.

I'm out.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Off topic: Pointless and stupid...but funny for a moment

Click here.

Most likely won't find this funny, but for some reason I laughed my ass off at this.

A good link to pull up if you're tilting.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

It's ben....Ages

Good grief. I feel like it's been ages since I had a chance to play some online poker.

Mostly because I'm a bonus whore or Poker Source Online whore, and since I've done all but two (UB and Carribean Sun) PSO promos that they offer, I've not been online lately.

Also, it's been a while because my family has been so blasted busy during the week, that the last thing I need to do is get online for 3 hours.

So, I took advantage of Absolute's 25% reload bonus yesterday, and started working off the bonus.

Started off really hot at the $.50/NL tables, and decided to play $1/NL fold'em for the points to accumulate while I hammered out the $.50/NL tables for profit. I slow play my pocket rockets after a $3 raise ($.50/NL) pre-flop, and hit my A on the flop. I raise on the flop, and get called. Same thing on the turn. River gets a check from the other guy, I bet $10, and he goes allin for his remaining stack of $25. I insta-call and flip AA to beat his 88, which also tripped up on the flop.

Over on the $1/NL tables, I'm folding everything except AA, KK, QQ, JJ, 10-10, AK, AQ, AJ. This table was psycho loose with folks raising to $6-10 preflop. Getting $30 pots easily before the flop. I pick up AJh in the BB, and flop gives me an A. I bet $5, get raised to $15, and call. I made a bad read here. I really thought this guy was thinking I was trying to bully the table, and he was trying to buy me out of the pot. I felt like he had KQ, or pocket pair of some sort. Turn is a Q, I bet $10, and he pushes. I think for a bit and make a terrible call ($20 more). He flips AA, and I"m dead.

IT was fun to get back on the tables again. I love the rush of seeing a $50 pot sliding my way. Conversely, I loathe a $50 pot going another way :)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Looking for more Desert Sands chips -- Nevada Jacks ceramics

I got 1100 chips through Poker Source Online , but somehow managed to screw up my demons and have left myself a cash game set enough for 10 people and a tourney set for 12-15 people. I need more for the tourney set.

Unfortunately, most who participated on the PSO promos got the Nevada Jacks skulls chips, and I don't need/want that style.

Anyway, if you've got extra DS chips and want to sell/trade, let me know.


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Massive Email Hold'em tourney

Just got dealt my first hand in the WRGPT email poker tourney. I have no clue what I'm doing, or how painfully slow this tourney will be.

Seems pretty cool, all your commands are sent through email, and there's table talk, etc. I'll post more updates as the tourney goes on.

Anyone else in this tourney?

I've gotten a few comments/questions about my poker table posts. If you're interested in building your own table, you need to visit Scott Keen's forum -

Anything and everything table building related is on that site.

Good luck.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

My 2nd Home Table

Just got through playing the first game on my new table. I enjoyed it as I won! Didn't have the "table curse" when playing for the first time on a new table.

Monday, October 03, 2005

My home table

Here's my first home table. I'm in the middle of building two more, one exactly the same as this with stainless cup holders, and one with a burgandy playiing surface and stainless cup holders.